Life is a struggle and then…

Life is a struggle and then…

Life is a struggle and then you die… Have you ever heard that saying before?

Luckily, that does not have to be true at all. Life have a way to move forward, change and give you the opportunity to go in new directions if you choose to. You always have a choice how to live your life. Sometimes things happen that will ruin everything that you thought was your world but like a forest fire some new things will grow if you let them. Maybe the outcome is grater then the way it was before.

Big changes

The biggest changes that happened to me was when I met my husband and when I gave birth to my daughter. That was the best changes in my life before Crohn’s Disease.

Getting sick and misdiagnosed with Ulcerous Colitis at first was a hard blow. My whole life turned upside down. After my first operation I thought I was healed and that my life would get back to normal. It was for a few years but then I got sick again and my life fell apart again. When that happened, I got angry and sad. It took a while before I realised that I could not be angry all the time, so I just surrendered and gave up the fight that never helped me forward. That was the best decision I made at the time. Now I could move ahead and plan for my future. I learned to handle my disease, most of the time anyway.

Positive outcome

One thing that I think was the best with getting sick was that I was home more. My daughter could come home from school and she would not be alone. Someone was always around if she needed help or other things.

Other positive happenings were that I learned to say No to things I was not interested in doing. My body set the directions and boundary’s that I had to relate to. I started to stress down and wanted to work with things that gave me joy and every time I got a new job it was a bit better than the work I had before. I am more aware of what I need and what I want in life. If something feels wrong, I will listen to my body and trust it to be true. That have helped me many times when I stand on a crossroad and need to make a choice.

Thanks to you Crohn’s Disease

Thank you Crohn’s Disease

Without my disease I would not have grown to be the person I am today. Every step I have taken over the years have been a choice. Some was not as good as I hoped but they taught me a lesson or two. Others have been just the right ones for me. I am braver than I was before my sickness and I do not hesitate when my path leads me on new roads. I try not to compare myself with others anymore and I am not scared of taking my time with new things. I realised that even if I go slowly, I move forward if I take one step at the time. I will get where I plan to go in the end anyway. Why run through life when I can enjoy the journey every minute of every day?

Do you feel curios about my journey?

Do you feel curious about my journey just follow the link, sign in and get the video series. Is this something for you? What does your gut feeling say?
If you want to contact me just use the contact form under the contact link in the menu above. Remember to find your daily smile.

See yaaa all next time!  

Annas Chosen Trail

Bumps on the road

The walk on roses with thorns

Parents in the way

My journey is not a walk on roses all the time, not without thorns anyway. There is always some disturbance that shows up when you don’t expect it. This time it is the relationship with my father that is making my live miserable. This fallout I have with him is steering up really old feelings from my youth. I know I have to process them before I can get over them. It’s like a big sorrow that turns on me, telling me I am not worth of being in his world anymore, he doesn’t want me there. The rejection is hurtful and I know I have to close this capture and move on without hating the way he have treated me. After that I might be able to move on without him and his drama.

Affecting my life everywhere

This tension is not only affecting my relationship with my father and his wife. It disturbs me at work, I talk about it with my family and my mind is a total mess with anger, disappointment and so much negativity that I don’t want in my life. My stomach is totally upside down, hurting and bleeding more than I like it to.

I know I have to do something to ease my stress so I started to ask myself a few questions.

  • Can I change the situation?
    The answer is – NO
  • Do I want to stay in the arguing and disappointment, feeling sad and thrown away?
    The answer is – NO
  • Do I want to move on and live my life without more drama and fighting
    The answer is – YES

With those answers I know what to do. I will break up the relationship with my father for now. It still hurts but it feels a lot better when making this decision. Even if he is my father I don’t need him in my life as it is right now. My choice is not written in stone so I can always change my mind. If we can come to some understanding and more friendly feelings there is a possibility to reconnect again.

Slow week

Because of the situation with my father my head doesn’t work as god as I am used to. My thoughts are all over the place but I just have to accept it, let my mind go through everything and just do what I can in this moment. Now I can see that I have done more than I believed I would do and that is a great feeling.

I have been listening to a few webinars, learning some new technical skills and made a change in my homepages structure which didn’t work as I thought it would but I have contacted the support team and they are always helpful. I had to paus my ads because they haven’t been working. I have to change them before I restart them again. There is no hurry though. I am moving forward in my own pace as usual.

Finding my smile again

Find your daily smile

Today I found my smile again. One of my sisters that lives a long way from us came to visit along with my daughter, her boyfriend and my grandson. We ordered some food and had a lovely dinner together with lots of laughter and love. In this company life is as good as it gets and I don’t want this moment to end. Well I have a few more days with my sister before she is driving all the way home to her own family. I plan to let my grandson sleep over at our house this weekend. That is what we need after the drama we have had. It’s a perfect way to end this week and I look forward to a wonderful time with lots of fun and love with my little heart of a grandson.

Are you curios of my journey?

If you are curious about my journey just follow the link, sign in and get the video series that may inspire you to take a step into the life you deserve. If you want to contact me just use the contact form under the contact link in the menu above. Remember to find your daily smile.

See yaaa all next time!  

Annas Chosen Trail